"President" Bush - ingenius - I love PVT :)

Paperweight Software, you are no heavyweight. Like your namesake, you are dull and boring and inessential.

Finally, a review that gets back to ripping on the software developer. Yeah!

"You may think Beeper Pro is hot snot on a silver platter, but it's just another cold booger on a paper plate."

Best.Putdown.Ever.

All I can say is that I have not inflicted the phrase "suspiciously moist" on my friends nearly enough. I hope to amend this oversight immediately.

This is why I come to PerversionTracker... An actual review!

Hey everyone, let's review Brit! Who's going to start? Let me! Please. Ooh, ooh! I've got my hand up! Me? OK!

Brit is seldom bothered by the fact that this site has very little to do with software, really -- I mean, does anyone take these reviews to heart? He would like the content of the site to be written to suit him, please, thank you very much. I give Brit 7 out of 11, because his heart's in the right place, but I just can't say where his head is.

Check out the press release (I found it in this TMO article: http://www.macobserver.com/article/2003/05/06.11.shtml). It's generated by that press-release-generator program which PT reviewed a while back. heh heh.

I say, Compulsive Reviewer! That's a bit stiff, isn't it! Must try to play with a square bat, old bean!

Brit is as entitled as the next person to have his say, and we are certainly not compelled to agree with him. God knows, some days I even manage to irritate myself with my obsessively inane shenanigans. At least Brit has the two necessary bits of dangling equipment (harrumph!) to have a crack out in the middle!

If a few more of us were willing to take on the bouncers, what a wonderful game this would be! And it is merely a game, is it not?

Belvedere, have you polished my box and pads? Lovely!

Adam:

You are, of course, thinking of PromoPal. That Beeper Pro's press release was generated this is app is a fact we -- sadly -- failed to mention.

"all recorded buy us personaly"

...

That's no Canadian justification for this. Just horrible spelling. Canadians (i.e. Me) dislike obvious mistakes in GrammarLand.

CanBoy

When I were a lad, spelling and grammar was two different thing. But then perhaps they do be not mutually inconclusive after all. Thus. I say to you Canboy, no, disrepsect untended that, i wish all of the postees to this sight were as eruditatious as you be. Good knight awl.

Oh, that life should not be the mere passing of a spark from the most infinitely brief flicker of a flame. And in this tiny mortal span, would only that we should not have to put up with shite like this ...

Compulsive Reviewer: I was deeply traumatised by your comments. I'm not sure if I will, in fact, ever be the same again. I shall now go and sit out back with the turkeys in the hope that come Christmas when I go to throttle them I'll not notice and do me too. I hope you can live with yourself after what you've done. If not, there's room for two. You'll have to bring your own bird seed though, 'cause you ain't having any my mine.

With fewer "reviews" of beer and barbecue, and more reviews of Beeper Pro and its ilk, the day is brighter indeed.

Let's just get this straight, before Aussie Boy comes and joins me with the turkeys... Those editorial pieces were witty and well written. Nobody is really denying that (though no doubt soon will). The problem is that we come here for software reviews. We're geeks. We may drink beer, but let's face it, if we do it's because it makes us feel cool, and less geeky. The sad truth is that we like reading software reviews. When they're humerous and critical that just makes thing even better... I think Aussie Boy should, if he hasn't already, start a blog. He can post his thoughts on Australian culture there, and people will no doubt appreciate them even more. If it's on his blog page and people get critical, then he can tell them to go shove their head up...

Brit:

If you don't like the "colour," then don't visit on Sunday! Which is when aussie boy posts, although we haven't always stuck to that schedule..

If I might add a word in my defence. Let's take a lateral view of software, and then think about the reviews I've done to date:

Bilbies are ... soft (and fluffy!)
Meat is ... soft (before it's turned into a chunk of charcoal)
Australian culture is (arguably) ... soft
Beer, despite not being a "soft drink", is ... soft (unless you freeze it)

I promise never to review anything hard, like Ayers Rock (Uluru), Holden cars of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. And if you don't think that's a fair compromise ...

DISCLAIMER: All promises made in this post may be dishonoured at the discretion of the management. And the management here is nothing if not discreet.

PS: I'm a geek too, guys. Why do you think I hang around here so much?

Wow, I actually really liked that review. I find it hard to take critisism, but that was great! Really! I mean...REALLY! Just as a bit of defense, several of the issues have now been addressed, we are a "sprouting" company, the sound fx are recorded by us(they're not bad, either) and finally, you were having way too much fun affixing boogers to paper plates in this review. Never the less, it was a quite amusing, insightful, and informative review, thanks.