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As we hirple our weary way home from another long day in the dynamite factory, our blood-spattered eyelids downcast as we ponder the transitory nature of fingers, we find a small measure of comfort in the thought that, in spite of everything, we have always resisted the temptation to peddle an application as useless as Tracing Paper. We may not have two turnips to rub together but, dammit, we still have our pride.
It pains us in the nether regions to even consider the supposed “function” of this malignant morsel of uncooked monkey meat, but you people are so demanding, always needing to know what the software does, blah blah blah. Whatever. You babies.
TP tracks the motion of your mouse as it scuttles across the screen, for 30 minutes in the demo version or forever if you pony up $9 (three hours’ pay at the dynamite factory). After you have allowed the giddy excitement to build for a temporal interval of your choice, you may pause to observe the climactic results: a frangible spiderweb, a lunatic scribble, a map of the developer’s pale and twisted soul.
Signwave UK, surely you gleek. We would prefer to engage in cataglottism with a coked-up mongoose than use your product again. Although we are inexplicably aroused by your close association with the Museum of Ordure, we cannot condone such blatant bumfodder. Please select a number divisible by 11 and go about your business, such as it is.
Posted by naomi at August 26, 2003 07:02 PM | TrackBackI will use my powers for good and not do some lame "first post" thing.
Crap.
Posted by: Nick on August 26, 2003 07:44 PMMy god. Is it possible that naomi has awarded the program a value HIGHER than can be awarded? Is it truly that useless as well as originating from R***B****? The answer is no. Its still only an 11.
I believe this problem has a use. If you must back track your mouse movements this program has definite possibilities. If clicks could be represented with dots, and dragging an object is a different color path, and right clicks are a different color dot...the potential is limited!
Sounds like a RETCH-A-SKETCH.
Posted by: Balthazar on August 26, 2003 09:27 PMI actually find this program rather useful! I tape the mouse to the end of my wee-wee and watch random porn videos and then see what happens. The results are quite artistic and the funny thing is I'll probably make several hundred thousand dollars selling this one eyed monster art.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on August 26, 2003 11:07 PM"Monster" or "Deformed Midget"?
He did call it his "wee-wee"...
Posted by: Mickey Knox on August 27, 2003 07:09 AM// Stupid comment START
print("Hello, everyone. When can Comment Space Waster Pro™ $version_name be reviewed on this site, $site_name?
- Comment Space Waster Inc.
Comment Space Waster Pro will now waste the rest off thi spostr with badly speling and od word s.");
// Stupid comment END
Posted by: $stupid_product_name on August 27, 2003 07:24 AMAn error in the post above occurred. The real content should have been:
---------------
Hello, everyone. When can Comment Space Waster Pro™ 1.0.1 be reviewed on this site, Perversiontracker?
- Comment Space Waster Inc.
Comment Space Waster Pro will now waste the rest off thi spostr with badly speling and od word s.
Posted by: Comment Space Waster Inc. on August 27, 2003 07:26 AMIs it wrong that I enjoy the "Comment Space Waster Pro" posts? Because they're just so damn funny.
Posted by: fuddes on August 27, 2003 09:41 AMAs amusing as the Comment Space Waster posts are, I would rather see more good words (like cataglottism) and more Rixster insults.
Making disparaging comments about a man's wee-wee is a woo-woo of an offense. For that, I deem you guys a bunch of waa-waa.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on August 27, 2003 10:59 AMIn the works for Tracing Paper 0.4.2 - not only the expected mouse odometer, but calculation of the square footage of open windows crossed with the cursor. Wheee!
Posted by: PinkPickle on August 27, 2003 11:20 AMMy vote is that we should block the IP range from which Comment Space Waster Pro posts originate.
Posted by: A.C. on August 27, 2003 11:21 AMAhhh, suddenly all becomes clear. The CSWP posts are all coming from 216.92.206.207. A quick whois nets the following results:
whois -h whois.arin.net 216.92.206.207
OrgName: Rixster Networks, Inc.
OrgID: RIXSTERNET
Address: 132 S. 11th #2
Address:
City: La Crosse
StateProv: WI
PostalCode: 54601
Country: US
NetRange: 216.92.0.0 - 216.92.255.255
CIDR: 216.92.0.0/16
NetName: RIXSTERNET-BLK-3
NetHandle: NET-216-92-0-0-1
Parent: NET-216-0-0-0-0
NetType: Direct Allocation
NameServer: NS1.RIXSTEP.COM
NameServer: NS0.THERIXSTER.WS
Comment: ADDRESSES WITHIN THIS BLOCK ARE NON-PORTABLE
RegDate: 1998-09-25
Updated: 2001-06-14
TechHandle: RX383-ARIN
TechName: Rixster, The
TechPhone: +44-1223-212-504
TechEmail: bloatbusters@yahoo.com
# ARIN WHOIS database, last updated 2003-08-26 19:15
# Enter ? for additional hints on searching ARIN's WHOIS database.
As much of a first post whore as I am, that is not me. I always include a link to my wonderful website. http://www.akugyaku.blogspot.com (free plug)
by the by, is that for real (the thing right above my post) about his IP. If so, I feel dirty because I, too, enjoy the Comment Space Waster but have a deep disdain for the Rix-Man.
Obviously my intelligence, brobdingnagian though it is, has it's limits. Mostly I just wanted to use that word.
Posted by: Nick on August 27, 2003 06:03 PMDear Nick,
No.
Regards,
Me
Posted by: A Friend on August 28, 2003 02:52 AM