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On your way to the book store again to buy yet another maze book?
Actually no, but we’ll give it the old Van Tol Try all the same. Offering the industry’s first Andes Mint-colo(u)red (but not flavo(u)red!) maze generation application, Colourfull Creation’s Simply Maze Crazy is destined to revolutionize the competitive world of one-winged pigeon racing. Additionally, a few maze fans may try it and subsequently expectorate in disgust.
I mean really… Who wants their maze to look like something Plucky the Python just left behind, as viewed through a thick protective coating of Kiss My Tushy&trade Lotion? The pixelly and urochromatic “demo” text may indicate that Simply Maze Crazy’s author prefers Golden Showers to the more palatable brisk rub with a splintery pine board. This is, of course, merely a theory.
Once you experience the crazy maze action, you’ll never go back to lye-based contact lens cleaner! All the same, it’s probably best to finesse your pogo stick through the worst of the mayonnaise barricades before losing it all betting on the nutrias. Reflect on this: SMC defaults to saving your maze as a 100x100 pixel JPEG. What kind of a default is that? A D-U-M one, that’s what!
Colourfull Creations, your $9.99 price (4,112.28 Costa Rican Colones) sparks a hearty guffaw that shakes our giblets most unpleasantly. Please try not to do that again. Instead, consider renaming your bacon-bedaubed barrage of buffoonery to “Nobody Could Possibly Be This Maze Crazy.” Jump to the jam, boogie-woogie jam slam, nobody enjoys an 11.0 like Colourfull can!
FIRST POST! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY SINCE I BURST SCREAMING FROM THE WOMB!!
Posted by: fuddes on November 18, 2003 12:37 AMSECOND POST!! OH JOY OF JOYS! WHAT LUCK I HAVE FOUND THIS VERY DAY, TO GET BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND POSTINGS! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY SINCE THE CAPS LOCK KEY BROKE ON MY COMPUTER!!
Posted by: fuddes on November 18, 2003 12:38 AMAn interesting review, and Norm, read the comment. Loved it. I am honored.
I'd explain some of the things you asked about me, but you'll have to go see me personally for that. I've decided you are all right, and that this just isn't the place for me. I'm a psychpath, but I'm just not this site's type of psychopath.
Though I'll say this, the hiatus was I have started work on a new Warhammer army.
You are all hereby forgiven for your remarks towards me as I know that either deep down you truly care, or you get to end up where the daemons live while I'll be enjoying Heaven.
I'd like to thank the Van Tols for putting up with my stupidity, and I apologize to you all for this (again) long post.
Though I must say that people who write programs are color blind. Or seriously retarded when it comes to color matching. Damnit, don't any of them have a SINGLE female friend? Or a gay one? Or are gay?
Bye all, have a pleasant life on this Earth.
Cause the Inquisition is watching....
=][=
Inquisitor Laemkral of the Ordos Hereticus of His Holy Emperor's Inquisition signing off from PvT commentating.
this is unfair! I always try to guess who wrote the review while reading it, thus finding a small piece of enjoyment in an otherwise bland and boring site. However, this time, you announced that it was one of the van tol gang, making the whole guessing game a lot easier! you ruined my life for me! seriously.
Posted by: LKM on November 18, 2003 03:08 AMGee, that picture of the running app looks ... well, nauseating. In fact, I just threw up all over my keyboard and it looks remarkably like the picture they have of the running app! Sweet!
On the downside, my number keypad doesn't seem to be working anymore. I guess I found a new syndrome ... the Vomit Syndrome! We all know it's a proven fact that if you spill soda on your keyboard (Pepsi works best, I don't know why), your boss will replace it with a cheaper model. I wonder what he'll say when he see's this!
Boss: What happened here?
Me: I got sick.
Boss: Are you feeling alright? Do you want to go home?
Me: I'm feeling fine now, but would love to go home anyway. Do I still get paid?
Boss: You can take a sick day if you want, but take that freakin stinky thing with you!
Me: Oh yeah, I'll need a new keyboard.
Boss: Our budget isn't sufficient to buy you a new keyboard every week. Clean that thing up, it'll still work.
Me: RALPH!
Boss: You should really go home, that can't be good ...
Did you try it out in "advanced" mode?
I'll bet that's when things get interesting!
Posted by: MuckSavage on November 18, 2003 03:03 PMThis is a poor ripoff of the aMazing program that was on the old Mousing Around disks they sold with the early macs.
Posted by: Eru Illuvatar on November 18, 2003 03:35 PMPerversionTracker Staff:
Please review the application Tinderbox.
http://www.eastgate.com/Tinderbox/
In my arrogant opinion it sucks hippos through broken straws, and it costs $145 US.
Pretty please? With sugar and cherry on top?
Posted by: Thuros M. on November 18, 2003 03:55 PMYou do requests, Van Tols? In that case I have a veritable "list" of software I want you to review.
Posted by: Nick on November 18, 2003 05:42 PMBilly Mays Here!
for Simply Maze Crazy 1.0!
Crazy maze fun!But wait theres more!Colors that even Oxyclean cant remove!Fun for the whole family-But you've gotta download now!
Thank you for this site. My life sucks so badly that there are few things that suck worse - but still you find them anyway, and this just makes my whole day brighter (comparitively speaking).
Posted by: Big Erns on November 19, 2003 02:02 PM"Colors even OxyClean can't remove!" That reminds me, what do they mean by "the cleaning power of oxygen"? Oxygen discolors most metals! Ever hear of oxidation? Some may know it as RUST! I never considered rust very clean.
Fire is considered by some as a cleaning agent of sorts and oxygen burns, could that be what they mean? Kinda like saying "the only way to get it cleaner is to burn it"? But doesn't that then leave a sooty residue behind? That's not very clean either ...
Maybe I'm just old fasioned, but I always thought that if you wanted something clean then you would use SOAP!!! What's wrong with soap? If you just have to increase soap sales, can't you make a new and improved soap, maybe now with "more cleaning power" or a "new fresh scent"?
Give up on the oxygen crap. If I wanted rust colored stuff I'd paint it brown. If I wanted it to burn I'll dump gasoline on it and toss on a match. If I want something clean, I'll wash it with soap.
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on November 19, 2003 04:52 PMBilly Here!
Walking Contradiction maybe you should try the power of KABOOM!And dont forget the cleaning power of citrus in ORANGE CLEAN!
But you gotta call now...
KABOOM!
My sentiments exactly.
If it's just not clean enough, blow it up with volitile explosives! Your neighbors will love you!
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on November 20, 2003 01:34 PM