Your review was tautological.

Spot the logical inconsistency:

I always tell the truth. I'm lying.

If you worked it out, you have won three weeks at the George W. Bush Academy of Truth, Justice and the Armorican Way (an ancient Roman road the world's most powerful unelected man is rather fond of).

I bid ye good day, Mrs McMiniver!

Little children, let me teach you my wisdom on logic...

Logic is rubbing shit on someone's face and then convincing them that it was the best thing for them. Who cares if you win the argument, they are the ones with shit all over their face. It pays to keep your priorities straight.

Logic is a little bird tweeting until you blow its head off while reciting old Dirty Harry movie lines.

Logic is illogical to a drunken Volcan having sex with a pine tree just before it is thrown into the wood chipper.

Logic is sniffing used toilet paper for enjoyment.

Logic is like bringing a butter knife to a gun fight.

Logic is like having sex with yourself and then complaining you don't cuddle enough afterwards.

Logic is like eating dead puppies for Christmas dinner. You have to eat fast to get seconds before anyone else does.

Logic is sucking up to your boss only to find out that the wet/dry vac caused massive internal bleeding.

Logic is knowing your a prick and that soon you will be shriveled by a cold shower.

Logic is saying "fuck you" to your wife on her birthday and she takes it as a statement when you meant it as a question.

Logic is aussie boy and Belvedere getting it on while grandma watches.

Logic is a dead people polka party.

Logic is comforting dying traffic accident victims by having sex with them at the scene of the accident.

Logic is living out an out of control obsessive compulsive fantasy life with naomi as the center of it all involving mud, leather straps, ground up tires, three 16 penny nails, a recording of Brittany Spears doing a nude birthday party for toddlers, internally made human methane gas stored in small baggies, candy sweet tarts that are chemically flavored to taste like puke, a pound of Laemkral cream (scratch that idea), small bits of broken glass, [OK Norm, this is the FBI. Step away from the keyboard and put your hands where I can see them...Sorry for the inconvenience folks, but we have been tracking Mr. Tidwell for months and now finally caught up to him. From the looks of things next his computer, it looks like we got him just in time. You folks were this close to Norm doing...its to horrible to describe. OK folks, move along, move along, nothing to see here...]

Norm, you do realize that 99% of us won't read something that long, right?

P.S. Norm, you're boring.

Dear Mr.fuddes,

I never saw you complain when you pumped your rump for over 30 minutes to get your message out. Do you need a kleenex? Holy shit man, you act as if Laemkral just had sex with your cute little puppy dogs. The wood chipper for you all.

Besides, get off the damn can, its my turn to open the eye of wisdom and plop a few poops in its well of wisdom.

Is your self-mastecotomy going well?

Excuse me, I came here for an argument!

Mitch here.

Quit your mitching.

Oh, well this is abuse! Arguments are down the hall, first door on the left.

No they're not!

d13 l4M3rz

Anybody ever have sex with the hole in the middle of CDs? I am stuck and I need some help getting out.

Nah, my dick won't fit into something that small. Try using a knife to free it...or a dremel

I am deeply offended.

Jill still owes me $10.

Good luck with that. I loaned her $12 two years ago and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her since.

p.s. - Dremel? ouchie.

Naomi,

the second person of 'have' is not "hath" (which is third person)
but "hast".

Clean up your 16th Century English chops, girl.

The rest of your chops are most excellent.
And I would like, if I might, to chew on your pork chops just a little.