War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
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Once in a lucky while, we run across a read-me that’s nutty enough to obviate the need for an actual review. The latest winner in this category is the creation of some dude who calls himself “Shoecake Games” for reasons that are, no doubt, intensely personal and obscene. Oddly enough, the other games proffered by this Liverpudlian lunatic seem playable — but not WordOMatic, oh no, that would be too much to expect.
WordOMatic is a simple game to learn and play. The game rules are quite clear and after playing only one or two games you should have a good idea of how to play. Slide rows of letters using the Mouse. Remove complete words by pressing Space. The Word Light will flash green when you align complete words. . . .
Each time you remove some words, the remaining “Letter Tiles” change colour from Grey through Gold, Green, Blue, Purple and Red. After Red the Tile becomes void. . . .
You must prioritize the Blue, Purple and Red Tiles. You can create multiple words (often by accident) but it’s not overly important to do so. However, as the game progresses it may be necessary to create two or three words in order to clear out the colour letters.
Best of all, this leaky sack of smegma will set you back $16.95, or the price of one pair of giant rubber breasts. Doesn’t that blow your tiny mind? It makes us want to stab our thighs repeatedly with a meat fork. Just be grateful that we spared you the full discussion of WordOMatic’s “special” tiles, which include a Time Bomb, a Radioactivity Tile (“green in colour with a powerful radioactive glow”) and a Tile of Goodness (“pure white with a heavenly glow”).
Shoecake Games, you need this squashable 10.8 more than we do. Make the crowd of 300,000 people roar like a sea monster. Take everyone on a harmony joy ride. Whip that werewolf with a belt. Feel the power of rock and roll!
Posted by naomi at January 20, 2004 04:10 PM | TrackBackWhat the hell! This isn't a fancy chicken. They told me there were fancy chickens around here.
And I wore m' best suspenders and everything ...
Posted by: aussie boy on January 20, 2004 03:06 PMSquint and sorta go crosseyed and you'll see the "Tile of Goodness" has a subliminal message to smoke crack in a shoe made of cake. Mmmmm... crack in a shoe made of cake...
Posted by: Colthere on January 20, 2004 07:56 PMI like the word "colour".
Posted by: El Winko Magnifico on January 21, 2004 06:34 AMGiant breasts for just $16.95? Does that include S&H? I'm willing to pay a modest shipping fee, but I'll personally take care of the handling, thank you very much.
Wait... are these human or chicken?
Posted by: kecko on January 21, 2004 06:42 AMYeah, I like the word "colour" too. Good to see some real spelling around here instead of all this Yankee crap (you're excepted, of course, aussie boy).
Posted by: El Capitano Corelli on January 21, 2004 12:33 PMI would like 'colour' if it were pronounced 'colour' but since it is pronounced 'color', I prefer 'color'. I also prefer to say 'zee' since it is the letter 'z'; I would say 'zed' if it were the letter 'zd' or 'zed'.
Posted by: A.Y.B.A.B.T.U. on January 21, 2004 01:40 PMHey, I'll sell my own leaking sack of smegma for only $15.95 (but only if you call before midnight tonight. And breathe heavily). It's actually an heirloom. My great-grandpappy No started saving his durning the big panic of 1892 as a hedge against inflation. I got it from my mother as part of our family's oral traditions and have continued the collection whenever I have felt the power of "rock and roll", or the girl next door.
Posted by: Uncertain Future on January 21, 2004 01:55 PMWe went from "color v. colour" to "smegma" in mere moments. Never know what's gonna happen around here next.
By the way Aussie,
Those are my suspenders, I lent them to you for that Black Tie Moonshine and Meringue Soirée. Can't believe I missed that.
Posted by: Nick on January 21, 2004 04:08 PMBugger! I hate it when I'm caught with Nick's suspenders down.
And on a totally different tack, the spellings "colour" and "color" are utterly irrelevant to the meaning and comprehension of the word. The same might be said of "zee" and "zed". (Just had to get a rhyme thing in there ...)
The differences in spelling and pronunciation are accidents of history and geography, and enough time has been wasted on them already. Let's get on with abusing and perverting each other, and leave the grammatical minutiae to the cardigan-wearing ubergeeks who skulk in the hallways of academe and argue over such trivia because if they went home they'd only have to face the dreary emptiness of their lonely lives.
Or we could have a pie fight. Choice is yours.
Posted by: aussie boy on January 22, 2004 02:13 AMPie fights are much more colorful.
Posted by: A.Y.B.A.B.T.U. on January 22, 2004 08:39 AMI have a big wiener.
Posted by: longdongsilver on January 22, 2004 09:17 AMHey me too!
Posted by: Lex Steele on January 22, 2004 09:19 AMLet's have mental orgy. We can find some unsuspecting boobs out there and perform some russian tap dance on them and fuck them over real good.
It sure beats arguing about spelling. BTW, is the correct term boobs or tits?
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on January 22, 2004 11:30 AMKnockers
Posted by: Steve Martin on January 22, 2004 03:02 PMberthas
Posted by: benny hill on January 22, 2004 03:09 PMmommy bags
Posted by: Nick on January 22, 2004 03:38 PMnorks
fun bags
hooters
Hey, aren't these the seven dwarves?
Posted by: aussie boy on January 22, 2004 03:41 PMFYI, the boobs or tits question was meant to draw attention to the double meaning of the statement above it. Just in case you missed it.
While we are on the subject, I personally like to call them dull pointy objects that can break your teeth and poke your eyes out.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on January 22, 2004 04:12 PMNorm-I told you let me get the bra off first!
Man alive!
I like Velour jumpsuits
Posted by: The Unwinkable on January 23, 2004 07:29 AMMe too.
Posted by: Nick on January 23, 2004 05:18 PMI was once involved in a velour lawsuit, but the key prosection witness drowned one night in a puddle of her own drool (her false teeth fell out when she tripped over her empty rum bottle and was knocked unconscious), so the case was dropped.
Who knew rubbing up against a velour tracksuit was illegal? Can't understand why the lady who was wearing it got so upset ...
Posted by: aussie boy on January 24, 2004 06:22 PMI know! It's like they don't want you to, or something. I'll never understand women.
Posted by: Nick on January 25, 2004 08:10 AMWomen always want men to be more touchy-feely, but then when we are, they get upset about it. We can't win. I'm turning gay. At least another guy would let me use his chainsaw to dismember an obnoxious neighbor now and then.
Posted by: Uncertain Future on January 25, 2004 06:02 PMquite possibly.
Posted by: Nick on January 26, 2004 04:56 PMwhy the long face? lemon face.
Posted by: Lemon Stanly on November 10, 2004 01:26 PM