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Every tupping time, we tell them to use proper anti-aliased fonts. But do they listen to us? Do they even realize that use of REALbasic has been clinically proven to produce jacked up interface elements?
Further, if we're going to be shelling out 5 big buckaroos (285 little buckaroos) for this polished fecal globule, we expect a less hokey-jokey name than "PianistEnvy" -- the mind revolts when it is unwillingly led down the slippery garden path to the land of penises and melons...
Although the application does appear to function adequately if you're used to tiny 12-keyed pianos, it becomes shriveled and helpless once confronted with ditties requiring 13 or more keys. Shameful. Shocking. Well, actually, given that this is MelonSoft, not so shocking after all.
MelonSoft: please make it your Chinese New Year's resolution to stop appearing in our pages with such alarming frequency. In the interval before the time when cockroaches once again rule the earth -- happily coinciding with your inevitable fulfillment of that resolution -- please enjoy this hearty slice of 10.8.
Once in a lucky while, we run across a read-me that's nutty enough to obviate the need for an actual review. The latest winner in this category is the creation of some dude who calls himself "Shoecake Games" for reasons that are, no doubt, intensely personal and obscene. Oddly enough, the other games proffered by this Liverpudlian lunatic seem playable -- but not WordOMatic, oh no, that would be too much to expect.
WordOMatic is a simple game to learn and play. The game rules are quite clear and after playing only one or two games you should have a good idea of how to play. Slide rows of letters using the Mouse. Remove complete words by pressing Space. The Word Light will flash green when you align complete words. . . .
Each time you remove some words, the remaining "Letter Tiles" change colour from Grey through Gold, Green, Blue, Purple and Red. After Red the Tile becomes void. . . .
You must prioritize the Blue, Purple and Red Tiles. You can create multiple words (often by accident) but it's not overly important to do so. However, as the game progresses it may be necessary to create two or three words in order to clear out the colour letters.
Best of all, this leaky sack of smegma will set you back $16.95, or the price of one pair of giant rubber breasts. Doesn't that blow your tiny mind? It makes us want to stab our thighs repeatedly with a meat fork. Just be grateful that we spared you the full discussion of WordOMatic's "special" tiles, which include a Time Bomb, a Radioactivity Tile ("green in colour with a powerful radioactive glow") and a Tile of Goodness ("pure white with a heavenly glow").
Shoecake Games, you need this squashable 10.8 more than we do. Make the crowd of 300,000 people roar like a sea monster. Take everyone on a harmony joy ride. Whip that werewolf with a belt. Feel the power of rock and roll!